Next Steps

I apologize for the silence. After receiving the news on Friday I didn't much feel like talking to anyone-including my husband. I had (have?- Not quite sure I'm done) a lot of ugly thoughts and emotions running around in my head that I didn't feel like exposing you to.

As Clint posted earlier, we did see his doctor on Friday so we went into the weekend armed with a bit of information. He was very positive, but we decided that we wouldn't truly decide our next steps until we asked some questions of my doctor. As the weekend progressed, we felt that if we heard positive information from my doctor, we would probably try again, however we would simultaneously look into adoption options. In fact we're meeting with a church friend to pick her brain about adoption this Friday.

My doctor called this morning to talk and our conversation went well. Overall he was very positive. He informed us that the institutional wisdom is to implant blastocysts at day 5 then zygotes at day 3. He said our zygotes looked so good at day 3 there was no indications that things would so dramatically slow down by day 5. So I asked whether he would do a day 3 transfer if we opted to do this again and he said yes. My body is generally a better incubator than his machines. Plus, by doing a day 3 transfer that would allow us to freeze the remaining eggs to use for later, in case it failed again. He did not seem to think there were any genetic problems with our eggs and sperm. He informed us that typically, if there is a genetic problem you see signs very early and at day 3 we had 3-4 PERFECT zygotes. I also asked him the number of zygotes he would implant if we did this again. He said my young age asks for only 2 to be implanted, thinking that the statistics of me carrying both is very high. But, he then said, the fact that I have a failed IVF procedure may indicated that implanting 3 is not off the table. He did, however, qualify this statement by saying that having twins is pretty normal now, but having triplets is SOO much harder. He concluded by saying that he would do whatever we asked him to do though. My last question was how long I have to wait before trying again. Clearly, from that question you can see where our hearts are leading us. He said we only have to give my ovaries a 1 month break. He ended the conversation by saying that he thought we had a very good chance of making this happen. YEAH!!

Clint and I spent some time talking about this news and owned up to the fact that we would gladly rip our bodies apart and impoverish ourselves if those actions would allow us to have a natural child. We also decided that the larger question of the number of zygotes we will ask the doctor to implant cannot be answered now. We will have to ask him more questions as time progresses about the statistical advantage to having 3 implanted balanced against the risk to my and the future babies health. We also took a look at our calendars. We still have to check with our doctor's offices but right now it seems our first choice would be to have the transfer during early to mid January, with our second choice being around Thanksgiving.

So... Take a deep breath for here we go again. Obviously we'll be more jaded and cautious, but I will not lose my faith in God nor my love for my husband, family or friends who embrace us through this trial--for however long it lasts.